Significant wealth can trigger social complexity. Uncomfortable questions about money from friends, extended family members and acquaintances can arise unexpectedly. Preparing for these situations in advance can make it easier for family members to navigate uncomfortable conversations and questions about wealth.

Anchor elevator speeches in values

Having a conversation as a family to discuss core values that matter most to them can help arm family members with conversation points using their values to reframe unexpected interactions about money. Family members should discuss how comfortable they are sharing information related to the family’s wealth — what to share, when and with whom. These kinds of family discussions also give each family member a voice and a safe place to ask questions that may be awkward or difficult in other circumstances.

A focus on shared values can also make it easier to create consistency in the family’s responses regardless of who poses a question or what is asked. More importantly, leveraging the family’s shared values can be an effective way to avoid revealing more information than intended about sensitive topics while disarming questioners in a friendly way.

Create elevator speeches that are authentic

While families can establish shared messaging anchored in values, each family member should take time to personalize their responses. Authenticity creates credibility with the listener and can help reduce stress and the risk of oversharing due to nerves or anxiety.

Many families find that a focus on gratitude can be a powerful way to respond, whether it is a wealth creator expressing gratitude for what he or she has accomplished or a younger family member stating they feel grateful for the example that older generations have set. Family members should also trust their instincts as intuition is often the most powerful tool in discerning how, what and when to share.

Consider the audience before responding

Questions about family wealth can come from many different places. And depending on who is asking the question, the response may be very different. As a result, it can be helpful for family members to have a few different elevator speeches at their disposal. For casual acquaintances, short answers that reveal little may be most appropriate. For more meaningful relationships, family members may want to provide an in-depth response or engage in a conversation when appropriate.

Similarly, immediate family members may be entrusted with more detail about family wealth that is not shared with extended family members. Some families may also choose to share less detail with younger family members, slowly sharing more detail as they mature and demonstrate a readiness to help steward the family’s wealth.

Create your own elevator speech

While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to creating an elevator speech, consider this three-step process developed by the Merrill Center for Family Wealth®:

1. Have family members think about questions that have made them uncomfortable or caught them off guard in the past to serve as a starting point on the kinds of elevator speeches that may be needed.
2. Next, have them consider the range of techniques that can be used to answer uncomfortable questions, including asking a different question, answering with gratitude, or deflecting with a lighthearted response.
3. Finally, task each family member to think about which approach feels most authentic to them and to write down responses to these questions on paper, or store them in their smartphone to start the process of creating a set of elevator speeches.

We are here to help

The Merrill Center for Family Wealth works with families across generations to help them navigate uncomfortable questions about money. Our whitepaper, Preparing for questions about wealth, highlights how crafting an elevator speech can help when faced with unexpected questions. It offers:

• Practical ideas on how family members can craft their own elevator speech
• Ideas on how families can work together to align on key messages about wealth
• Examples of how family members can respond thoughtfully to a variety of unanticipated questions or comments regarding money and family

If you’d like to learn more about how you and your family can develop your own elevator speeches, contact your Merrill Private Wealth Advisor who can leverage the resources and insights from the Merrill Center for Family Wealth.